Too much heaven

I remember this funny saying from my childhood … Joto hashi Toto kanna bole gechen Satya Manna. This roughly translates to: don’t gloat in your happiness for your fill of sadness awaits, says Satya Manna. Incidentally this happened to form the cornerstone of my balance sheet concept of happiness. I’ve mostly been frugal with how much fun I allowed myself to have. Sadly I’ve now begun to see that’s not how it works. There’s really no science to explain why some people make better choices than others. Or are just plain lucky. It’s okay to look at others and tell yourself you’ve done so much better (or worse) for yourself. Denial can also be a way of getting by. Yet often I wonder how did I get it all so wrong. Perhaps it sounds like a bad bout of existential crisis. But you know nothing about the cross I bear. God is just a way of dealing with your conscience. Nothing wrong in believing. It’s therapeutic for those it works for. So every night before I drift off, when I hear my daughter breathing peacefully in her sleep, I count my blessings and tell myself: this is a slice of heaven. Hope I didn’t bite off more than I can chew.